i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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