I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
