This is not my ceiling
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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