I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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