Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
my liver is dry heaving
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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