I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Be still, my beating vagina.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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