I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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