Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
