It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
