he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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