Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Redeem this text for a blowjob
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize