I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
