it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
