the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
