just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
