Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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