i don't like sucking hair
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
