the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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