I'm so fucking centered right now
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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