If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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