I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
