No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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