i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
