You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
