butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
