hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well I just put wine in my tea
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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