I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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