Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
