I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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