I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
