Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
