I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
