there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
