everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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