dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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