He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
