last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize