Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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