White coat. Heels.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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