my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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