well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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