Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
