Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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