I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
