So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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