thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
