i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
