Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
