I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
