he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
