Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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