since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
