I accidentally had phone sex last night
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
