time to smoke my breakfast
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
