Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
