Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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